Walking?! You mean RUNNING…

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Now that my son has turned 1 years old, papa bear and I have stepped into a whole new world of craziness.

It’s exciting to see your child take their first steps from the beginning but once they start walking properly THERE’s NO SLOWING DOWN.

My son walks so fast, he bumps into things and he doesn’t know how to stop when he’s all excited and ready to play. He follows us around like a bee to a flower. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy because he’s doing what any one year old should be doing but it’s actually unbelievable.

In my opinion, the pros of your child walking mean that you don’t have to carry them everywhere (sometimes I forget, then I’m like “oh yeah”) it’s all great because you get to see how they use walking to climb and reach things. My son has a fisher price bike and the other day I caught him riding it and then standing on it… for the toddlers themselves per usual, they enjoy exploring everything. Knowing that your child is walking also means their skills are evolving and from the teeny baby that they were 1 year before I almost can’t believe it. With the waking comes the talking and so on and so forth.

Although as parents we know that the toddler “exploration” is part of what we have to go throug, this can also be a con.

My son is in more places he shouldn’t than ever before 😫 I need to invest in double protection just keep him safe. It’s a lot of work, double the work with a walking child. Going out in public is hard too especially when he’s ready to roam about. I’m quite open to him running around because I keep my eyes on him constantly, But chasing him back-and-forth that’s totally exhausting! And it’s also annoying because sometimes when he doesn’t feel like walking, he begins to crawl and we are in public so some places are not for a child’s hands.

I am happy that my son has reached his toddler ways, but I’m definitely looking forward to when I can tell him to stop, sit down or even stay and he will completely understand. That will be soon enough because I talk to my son with a normal voice, I don’t do the baby talk and he definitely understands me when I tell him certain things like go and come and of course other words so in time he will understand the concept of stay and sit still and don’t move.

As this year unfolds, I know there are so many things to look forward to and as every day passes by, more development is on the way for this toddler of mine.

I just wonder what is next but I am ready. So bring it on!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Milestone ONE

I did it! We did it. Papa bear and I made it one year as parents to our amazing son. What a journey it’s been. Just reflecting back to the hospital room waiting for little man J to arrive to now, wow!!!!

Our son is still smiling, dancing, no longer eating his baby food but table food & he is walking. Having all this happen right before my eyes is amazing. He knows how to copy everything I do with one look, he knows how to clap and find his little nose and even put his hands up in the air. It’s so many different things I’m just thankful I’m doing a good job. (Yes! I will pat myself of the back) motherhood is no small task.

This has been one heck of a year and I look forward to Jaden’s greater development as time continues on. In no time sentences will be forming and I look forward to having mother and son conversations. I’ve got his learning flash card all ready. This is the sponge stage after all and it’s important to take full advantage of that whether its learning new words, numbers or even languages.

To think my baby boy is no longer a baby but a toddler!!!! (Of course, he’ll always be my baby 🙂

Quick advice I have for new “newborn” mothers & fathers just as I once was a year ago:

– DON’T FREAK OUT! You got this MOM and you can do it DAD. Enjoy the experience and enjoy your baby because they really do grow up fast. Since my son has started walking everything has become more challenging already because he’s more curious than ever and he doesn’t know how to walk slow but is ready to take off like Usain Bolt every minute 😅

– As I’ve said in some of my earlier blogs, it takes time to get your “groove” back but it will come. As mothers, our bodies might change but that doesn’t mean you should love your body less.
– Rekindle the love. This might take time because your newborn baby takes up all the time you have and you might not feel attractive which happens often in the beginning but don’t worry, eventually you will get routinely great at things and you and your partner will be able to spend quality time together once again (very important)
– Lastly, let your baby do them. Don’t compare your child’s development to another. Every single child is different & you will run yourself mad if you start wondering “why this child is doing that and my child is not.” Let them take their milestones when they are ready and you’ll be so excited seeing their first laugh, tooth, crawl, walk etc.

I thank God for giving me more patience, learning and understanding more than I have ever had in my life. I thank God for Jaden’s amazing father for being supportive 24/7 and of course I thank Him for our son Jaden. This little boy has brought so much pride and joy not only to us but to so many others who he has made smile from friends, family and strangers.

Motherhood is amazing and I wouldn’t give it up for anything ❤️

My childhood to yours

I remember having a great childhood. I did so many fun things. I used to play outside and ride my bike and climb trees and just found adventure in everything I did whether dirt or water. I was lucky enough to travel to different amazing places with my family and friends from cold to hot and just remembering everything makes me feel happy and blessed at the same time.

Now that I’m a mother, there’s nothing better than sharing as many of my own childhood memories with my son the best way I can. It’s so surreal. I take pleasure in seeing him enjoy his new surroundings and taking great pictures to show him as he gets older. I definitely have a world traveler baby… but why not?! I’m taking full advantage of him sitting on my lap and paying hardly anything for a ticket… soon those days are over and it’ll be full price from there lol

I believe it’s very important to leave our children with a happy lomg-lasting memories. We live in a world now that is so technology based, I feel that many children don’t to take enough advantage of their surroundings.

There are so many things they can do but get locked up with “Disney channel” I had an article about how my son does watch “word party” but it’s educational and I make sure he also has as much play time as possible. I recently found an indoor playground called “Hippohop Atlanta” it’s amazing, fun, environmental friendly and the minute I took my son there he felt so free and happy and he could interact with other children which is great to see. All of these moments counts.

As the babies grow to toddlers and toddlers to young children to teenagers, finding ways to entertain them OUTSIDE OR CREATIVELY is a must. It Doesn’t matter how simple it is as long as it gets their minds and memories going that’s the key.

 
– Face painting
– Water and hose
– Racing
– Building
– Swimming
– Hiking
– Visiting museums
– Botanical gardens
– Traveling
Etc….

The list could go on Forever.

My elder sisters and I along with my cousins and close friends used  to have a blast doing all sorts of things together. I especially remember us riding our bikes and scooters and getting in to “kid trouble” lol whatever we did…  it shaped us in someways later in life because we all are good with people and we all have great friends and I believe can make friends fairly easy.

All of this wouldn’t be if we were children stuck inside playing on our game boys all day long and watching Tv. We definitely had our Tv time watching Cartoon Network and other great shows back then but it wasn’t a constant thing. We all loved going outside.

I’ll make it my mission that my son enjoys his very own childhood the best way I can.

Mother VS Grandmother

It’s no surprise that our babies will make us women want to be the best at everything we do for them. It’s natural instinct that allows us to nurture the right way as if we knew how to be a parent already (which we don’t)

It’s funny how grandmothers always seem to have the magic touch for everything baby. Did you notice that ?!

It’s like there’s a grandmother handbook. it’s filled with tips and tricks and advice you may want to hear and opinions you may not. Of course they are experienced because most of the time they’ve done the baby thing years ago and know how to handle certain things but isn’t it just amazing how that actually works.

In my case, my son is attached to my hip. Recently my elder sister and her man looked after him while I enjoyed a much needed night out and she told me that getting Jaden to sleep was extremely difficult because he wanted his breastmilk and mommy… mommy was nowhere to be found. Eventually he did get some sleep but it made me think the next day as she told me how difficult he was…how on earth does Jaden’s grandma & all the other grandmothers of the world do it????

I’ve gone out plenty of times and I’ve even left Jaden to go on a three day mommy-cation & from her point of view she was just like “he’s fine, he’s slept, he’s not crying or fussy.” hmmmmmm okay that’s great to hear BUT what on earth is GRANDMA doing that SISTER is not doing? that’s why I’m convinced there’s a grandmother handbook. It’s probably a secret book only available for all grandmothers lol

What I think is that with all the experience they have had in the past with countless of children, the babies themselves sense that. They sense a trust that they have with their own mothers. (Don’t worry sister 😉 I trust you with all my heart) …

They know subconsciously that this grandma is my best friend after mommy because all grandmothers spoil their grandchildren so the children are on their best behavior. Again, that’s my own personal opinion but it’s fascinating to me.

I’ve seen it with my own eyes the way Jaden’s grandmother cares for him, feeds him and bathes him… as if it was her first son. Do I take the tips she gives me yes I do but sometimes there is a line that should be drawn where the mother should be encouraged and not judged because she doing certain things her own way. After all, practice makes perfect.

This was one of struggles in the beginning. I felt like I’m was doing my best and wasn’t getting enough praises for it by Jaden’s grandmother. It was always (do it this way and do it that way) and it should have more (well done, good job) remembering this time makes me also wonder to myself why as a new mother do we seek validation from our mothers so deeply?! maybe it’s because hearing you’re doing a good job can go along way or maybe it’s because deep down, you’ve been parenting me and now I’m the parent and I need to know that I’m parenting correctly but it’s a loop whole because there is no straight line to perfect parenting.

As long as are children get educated book smart and “street smart” I believe it’s a job well done in the long run.

All in all, we just have to be thankful for our children’s grandmothers. We might not always see eye to eye but the advice is meaningful and if our little babies can feel so comfortable with how they are around them, as mothers we have to have that same confidence.

What are our (my) options?

In every relationship or not, there comes a time when you might reach cross roads. The type of cross roads which lead you to ask “what are our (my) options?” With this topic, I am specifically talking about when it comes to having children.

Every single woman has a different body, every single women faces different challenges to overcome in her own way. Does it make it impossible? Absolutely not but, one can look at the different options in order to achieve what you’ve always wanted.

First and foremost, *Natural conceiving* we all know how this works so there’s no need to delve in. It might not work on the first try but if all goes well your little egg will be nestled in and your journey begins.

If conceiving naturally isn’t working for you, don’t lose hope. We live in a world where technology is smarter than humans and we are in a time where doctors have found solutions to many different life changing circumstances. Not everyone will agree with me but I believe in ALL possibilities & I believe you should always explore them if they are available and accessible.

*Surrogacy* The ability of having someone else carry your own child to be for you. This works by implanting the embryo with an egg and sperm either with you and your partner or a donor.

How great is this?! It might be a bit costly depending on who your surrogate is but with a healthy scheduled plan and doctor visits per usual….’9 months later you’ll be holding your bundle of joy and it’s your baby. A surrogate is literally an oven. Nothing from her is your child unless planned to be.

*IVF* (In vitro fertilization) this process starts with women taking hormonal therapy which stimulates the body to produce eggs. Once these eggs are collected they are placed and fertilized in a test tube for the creation of embryos after this process is done they  get transferred through the vagina to the uterus.

As easy as it may sound, unfortunately it’s not and it’s also very costly. Not all of the embryos are successful and I’ve heard it can sometimes take months and years. Sometimes women can become pregnant and along the way, sadly there is a miscarriage and even still births in some cases and the whole process has to start all over again.

If IVF is in your plans I suggest you do thorough research and make sure you are mentally/physically and financially prepared.

*IUI* (intrauterine insemination) from my research this is a fairly simple procedure where sperm is injected through the cervix to the uterus with a flexible catheter. Its a process which takes approximately 2 minutes (in & out). The success rate of an IUI isn’t very high at all but it’s still an option.

Lastly an option that doesn’t involve doctors whatsoever but an open heart and a loving home…*Adoption* – the most beautiful of all if you’re willing. I believe that every woman and man should be able to experience being a parent and loving a child in some way, shape or form.

There are many of blessed and beautiful children in the world who unfortunately don’t have parents at all due to different circumstances & you could be that person or family who gives a child a loving home. Love is the greatest thing above everything else and even if a child isn’t your by blood it doesn’t mean that you’ll love them any less especially if adoption is in your plans. Everyone deserves a have tome be filled with joy.

I hope this post find comfort someone. You have choices & just because the road might be difficult it doesn’t make it impossible. Never give up hope & never ever give up faith ❤

Optimistic Mommy

Being a mother is no short or small task. Throughout your pregnancy, you have to be very aware of what’s going on inside of you (that’s why we have our weekly to monthly dr visits) to check on our little ones. We have to watch what we eat and even what we do because in no way are we trying to strain ourselves.

The more I thought about my own pregnancy, I realized that I didn’t limit myself to anything. I believe that you can do what you like and you can do it with so much positivity in your heart that your body is working with you and not against you. I traveled to distant places after getting told not to go anywhere. I said “why not” and I got a harsh “because you can lose the baby” I was baffled. Why are people so quick to point out negatives. Don’t you think a carrying mother needs a break to relax on the sand or wherever she chooses to. YES, absolutely, there is a time to fly and a time to NOT fly but that shouldn’t limit what you enjoy doing.

The same thing goes for food. If you’re like me, you like to read up on a lot of things or rather ask a lot questions. I seek for answers because I know that someone has shared the same thought or even have gone through the same thing as me so I like reading others opinions and outcomes. I’m definitely a “foodie” and nothing has changed even after pregnancy lol but being that type and being pregnant is glorious because I enjoyed my meals so much and I knew little man was enjoying every bite in baby form also. The point is, I came across loads of “Do not drink this, do not eat that” let me tell you it’s a load of BS. As my cousin once said “a happy pregnancy is the best pregnancy so eat whatever the hell you want.” She wasn’t lying. I never let the discouraging food list stop me from enjoying my meals or drinks (some of that “No” list included : Salami, Arizona Ice Tea, carbonated water; Mozzarella) how can things I love, let alone had the deepest cravings for be on the don’t try it because it’ll harm your child. I ignored it completely and here I am typing with my healthy child by my side (I thank God)

The one that got me the most…. Pregnancy DEPRESSION. Don’t let this define you ladies!!!!! That word is thrown around as if it’s something you buy. In my experience, I was extremely hormonal. I had Terrible mood swings which made me aggressive and I had mood swings which made me cry for nothing. When I mean cry for nothing literally. During my baby shower I saw two ants and killed one by mistake I think I cried a bit and I knew my sister and cousin were thinking is she serious or not lol… I was completely serious. Just because you let out emotions especially tears, don’t just believe you’re going to be depressed forever. I understand that there are a lot of thoughts running through your head about raising a child but YOU CAN DO IT.

Postpartum depression is a real thing and I pray for every mother who struggles with it. Although a huge issue to some, please don’t let it take over, especially before it’s even really taking place. True story. One of my dr’s who I removed right away after this conversation asked me once, “how are you feeling?” I told her, “I’ve been sad and crying a lot.” Without even hardly letting me finish she said “you’re probably depressed and you’re more likely to have postpartum, let me subscribe you some pills now so you’re less depressed.” EXCUSE ME! I was actually offended. Yes you’re a professional but why was she so quick to put me on drugs. Zero optimism. She just jumped to the negative conclusion. It’s so easy for people to feed you a quick solution and I am against that because if you tell yourself, I am not depressed and in a pregnant mothers case, knowing my child will love me unconditionally, and I can love my child back… eventually you can have the will power and do that. It might not be easy for some and there are women who do seek medication but please don’t let any Dr. make you believe that you need it. By the time the baby comes you’ll be so numb inside with your feelings, you won’t even know what’s going on. That’s why as said at the top, don’t let it define you. I listened to her “advice” and gave her a NO! I’ll be fine. I was crying for ridiculous things and no where was Depression of not feeling connected to my son apart of that.

Having optimism and faith go hand in hand. I believe if you put your mind to it, all will be well. Can challenges come about yes but it’s about how you handle every situation. With optimism you also do need realism because if there is something that needs to be known, never be oblivious to it, get the facts, seek the advice and go from there but always go in with strong positivity and the outcomes can be endless.

The necessity of WINE.

It’s funny even having a title like this. Do you remember when you tasted wine for the first time and it was like “yuck” it’s horrible, why are my parents drinking this…. (fast forward a few years into our own adulthood) & look us now choosing which reds and whites we’d like to take home from the wine section. It’s hilarious to me.

Everything is about balance. It’s important to always enjoy things we like to do ourselves. It’s important to not lose ourselves in the small joys & in particular per this topic : Wine.

It’s so perfect, a nice chilled glass, after you’ve put your baby down. A glass while eating lunch or dinner. It’s just something I can’t not have in my home. I’ve come to enjoy wine a whole lot more after being a mother because it just takes the edge off in the most none aggressive way. I used wonder when I was younger why is this mom or that mom always drinking wine … I get it now, they all had children lol I embrace it all.

A glass of wine every other day keeps the parenting stress away. If I didn’t have my wine I don’t know what I’d do lol. I wouldn’t want to be drinking anything stronger because that’s just wrong but ALSO take note that it doesn’t always have to be an alcoholic beverage sometimes a glass of icy water or in my case cranberry grape juice from Welches on ice… that is a delicious drinkable treat all on it’s own.

Being a new mom/parent is a lot of work. It takes a lot out of you. It’s demanding and never-ending but it’s rewarding and I am sure we can all agree despite what we do with our children or how they act, they are the best thing that has happened to us. However, I’m sure we’ve a gotten to that point where you feel frustrated, you want to give up, throw in the towel and you’re thinking to yourself for a brief second “is this what I got myself into.” I’ve had those moments & they are totally normal. None of us are the perfect parent but to our babies we can be and like I always repeat, balance is key.

Now on a SERIOUS NOTE.

If you’re a parent who is drinking a beverage stronger than wine on a regular basis to “numb” anything aka Alcohol abuse. I suggest you seek help immediately. Health is wealth and you need to be at your right mind while raising your child. If you drink and start yelling or feel frustrated and start to take whatever you’re feeling out on your child, you need to cut your habits immediately for their and your safety and everyone in the house hold at that. There  is always somebody to talk to and there is always HELP if you seek it.

For information and help on this go to https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline