Optimistic Mommy

Being a mother is no short or small task. Throughout your pregnancy, you have to be very aware of what’s going on inside of you (that’s why we have our weekly to monthly dr visits) to check on our little ones. We have to watch what we eat and even what we do because in no way are we trying to strain ourselves.

The more I thought about my own pregnancy, I realized that I didn’t limit myself to anything. I believe that you can do what you like and you can do it with so much positivity in your heart that your body is working with you and not against you. I traveled to distant places after getting told not to go anywhere. I said “why not” and I got a harsh “because you can lose the baby” I was baffled. Why are people so quick to point out negatives. Don’t you think a carrying mother needs a break to relax on the sand or wherever she chooses to. YES, absolutely, there is a time to fly and a time to NOT fly but that shouldn’t limit what you enjoy doing.

The same thing goes for food. If you’re like me, you like to read up on a lot of things or rather ask a lot questions. I seek for answers because I know that someone has shared the same thought or even have gone through the same thing as me so I like reading others opinions and outcomes. I’m definitely a “foodie” and nothing has changed even after pregnancy lol but being that type and being pregnant is glorious because I enjoyed my meals so much and I knew little man was enjoying every bite in baby form also. The point is, I came across loads of “Do not drink this, do not eat that” let me tell you it’s a load of BS. As my cousin once said “a happy pregnancy is the best pregnancy so eat whatever the hell you want.” She wasn’t lying. I never let the discouraging food list stop me from enjoying my meals or drinks (some of that “No” list included : Salami, Arizona Ice Tea, carbonated water; Mozzarella) how can things I love, let alone had the deepest cravings for be on the don’t try it because it’ll harm your child. I ignored it completely and here I am typing with my healthy child by my side (I thank God)

The one that got me the most…. Pregnancy DEPRESSION. Don’t let this define you ladies!!!!! That word is thrown around as if it’s something you buy. In my experience, I was extremely hormonal. I had Terrible mood swings which made me aggressive and I had mood swings which made me cry for nothing. When I mean cry for nothing literally. During my baby shower I saw two ants and killed one by mistake I think I cried a bit and I knew my sister and cousin were thinking is she serious or not lol… I was completely serious. Just because you let out emotions especially tears, don’t just believe you’re going to be depressed forever. I understand that there are a lot of thoughts running through your head about raising a child but YOU CAN DO IT.

Postpartum depression is a real thing and I pray for every mother who struggles with it. Although a huge issue to some, please don’t let it take over, especially before it’s even really taking place. True story. One of my dr’s who I removed right away after this conversation asked me once, “how are you feeling?” I told her, “I’ve been sad and crying a lot.” Without even hardly letting me finish she said “you’re probably depressed and you’re more likely to have postpartum, let me subscribe you some pills now so you’re less depressed.” EXCUSE ME! I was actually offended. Yes you’re a professional but why was she so quick to put me on drugs. Zero optimism. She just jumped to the negative conclusion. It’s so easy for people to feed you a quick solution and I am against that because if you tell yourself, I am not depressed and in a pregnant mothers case, knowing my child will love me unconditionally, and I can love my child back… eventually you can have the will power and do that. It might not be easy for some and there are women who do seek medication but please don’t let any Dr. make you believe that you need it. By the time the baby comes you’ll be so numb inside with your feelings, you won’t even know what’s going on. That’s why as said at the top, don’t let it define you. I listened to her “advice” and gave her a NO! I’ll be fine. I was crying for ridiculous things and no where was Depression of not feeling connected to my son apart of that.

Having optimism and faith go hand in hand. I believe if you put your mind to it, all will be well. Can challenges come about yes but it’s about how you handle every situation. With optimism you also do need realism because if there is something that needs to be known, never be oblivious to it, get the facts, seek the advice and go from there but always go in with strong positivity and the outcomes can be endless.

“You want some milk?”

Since my son was born he’s been quite the breast feeder. I’m not sure what it is that has drawn him in but I’m all for it because I believe it’s very healthy for him although it can be annoying because something I feel I am limited to wearing certain clothes just in case he’s ready to throw a fit and now I have to rush somewhere to take off what I have on.

I’ve already stated introducing Jaden to solid food which I talked about in an earlier blog. I’ve noticed that because of this food substitute he still loves his breast milk but now I can give him various food and drink items throughout the day and then towards the evenings, I give him the breastmilk. This has become my way of weening him off gradually. It’s definitely working. As long as I have the right food on me when we’re out he seems to understand that it’s not the time for breastmilk.

Now other mothers who are also breastfeeding can say, “well pump.” Sorry, that’s just not for me. . . I did love my pump in the beginning then it become a task for me, literally! I’d rather to laundry than pump milk. To each their own but I hardly use the device UNLESS I am super swollen and Jaden is around then yes I’ll use it but otherwise no.

I believe every mother has their own method for her own child & our babies have their own method of letting us know what they are ready for and what they are still wanting to stay the same. It’s really about communication. When I tell Jaden “Do you want some milk?” He literally turns around and looks at me because he knows what MILK I’m talking about. If I say “Juice” he doesn’t pay attention until I show him the juice carton and then he crawls over fast because he knows that’s the little juice box of sweet yummy goodness.

Breastfeeding is a big task whether you believe in it or not but I’m getting to that point where although I love him taking my milk, I’m over it. He’s got his teeth coming in and sometimes he thinks it’s funny to take a bite and it really hurts.

I think it’s time to put and end to it. I’m not sure how I want to go about it… where I am it’s cold so I could do the turtle necks for a week and there’s zero access, maybe he’ll get the picture but I’m definitely ready to try something.

He’s becoming a big boy and I’m also realizing as a mother, I really am the boss of him so although he might not “baby like me” for a while, he’ll get over it and I won’t feel so guilty.

What are some of your ween off methods mom’s?

What’s the time Mr. Wolf? “Time to EAT”

Food is one of the most important things we can care about, especially when it’s time for feeding baby.

First and foremost, BREASTMILK is #1. If you believe in it of course, I don’t judge anyone because everyone has their own reasons as to why or why they don’t want to breast-feed. I believe in it & my son loves it so much I don’t even know how on earth I’m going to ween him off. It is a proper meal especially if you’re producing enough and my son was consistent with his breastmilk  up until he was 5-6 months old, then I started introducing other solid foods.

Every child is different and sometimes your baby might not even want your breast and that’s ok! What’s important is that they eat the right amount during their feeding time. Now for the new mom’s who breastfeed who are wondering how do we know our baby is getting enough milk? Well, I always fed him a formula bottle in between just to make sure because you really can’t know. Babies can’t talk so you have to really think for them, if you’re trying to drink water from a dripping tap, you’re gonna shelve it and get a bottle of water right, so you have to think about it that way.

If you’re a formula feeding mommy, that’s all great too. ALWAYS make sure you’re giving your child the right amount and what’s majorly important is to check on your child after drinking. Not every baby can drink the same formula! If you see any type of rash or face swelling, stop feeding your child that milk instantly. It’s nothing to debate, they can be allergic to something so rather than think it won’t happen again, NO! Stop that formula and try another one.

When it comes to introducing the solid foods again, every child is different. In the beginning I was a google mom meaning I wanted to know exactly when to feed & what, and how etc etc! Don’t be like me ladies… yes, you can research and read what other mommies are saying but don’t use that for your child word for word. Although babies can’t talk, if they don’t like it, they won’t eat it – simple. If they like it, they’ll open their mouths as fast as you’ve just inserted the last spoonful obviously asking for more please.

Ever since my son has started eating solids, he drinks breastmilk  less as in, mainly evening feeds however when he wants it, he can throw a baby fit so I gladly feed him how he likes. I think that you shouldn’t be afraid for your child to try new things because the sooner they like something then there’s a huge possibility they will enjoy it as they grow up. Giving your baby solid foods also gives you the opportunity to explore new dishes and find out hmmm what exactly does my child like. It’s actually fun and even more so when they enjoy that particular food because that’s a memory and if you’re lucky enough a snap shot to hold on to. I’m partially West African and we eat all types of food. I was nervous when Jaden’s grandma wanted to give him some of our local dishes. It turns out Jaden was in love with them to the point where I have to learn how to cook them for him on a regular. If google knew what I was giving him it would probably disagree with me but my baby loves it, it’s baby safe, portioned and he’s growing so well that I made the right choice.

The main thing about feeding our babies when it comes to solid food is making sure, it’s not too sweet or too much salt. We have to make sure they are not allergic to anything. We have to remember to feed on time as much as we might get busy & most importantly we have to stick to a healthy meal plan. HEALTH IS WEALTH! Don’t feed you child something you wouldn’t try yourself and don’t get them stuck on anything can harm them later in life. They might be small babies now but you don’t want to be dealing with any issues later because of simple and better choices you could have made. Other than that, let them eat away.
Here is a list Jaden’s snacks & meals. (In another blog I’ll be more specific with ingredients especially for his West African meals)

– Apple sauce
– Vegetable purée
– Cream and milk purée
– Spaghetti and meatballs
– Okra & fufu (Ghanaian/Nigerian)
– Okra/meat & Eba (Nigerian)
– Potatoes and boiled egg
– Chicken & vegetables
– Broccoli & cheese