6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)

I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.

I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.

I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.

My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.

Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.

A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.

It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.

Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.

The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.

It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.

2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.

Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

Preparing for two while there’s one……🌸It’s a girl🌸

Two years into being a mommy to my best buddy in the world my son Jaden. Papa Bear & I are expecting once again. 

🌸IT’S A GIRL🌸 !!! 

Wow! I can’t even believe this is happening. So many emotions. Is this real? Can I handle two kids? I’m still learning with Jaden & now we’re throwing in another whole child… just wow. 

The journey has been tough but magical at the same time. The beginning was very rough. Finding out I was pregnant again happened with my big sister Geraldine via FaceTime. I told her “my period hasn’t shown up yet & I have a test upstairs but it’s old” … “Go and get it and go buy another one so we can double check” She said. “OK” (20/30 min later) CONFIRMED! I am indeed pregnant. My sister was so excited and I kept on saying “oh my gosh, what do I do. Should I tell papa bear now or later.” Eventually I told him with giggles which he didn’t find funny at all but me laughing was the only way I could cope and tell him. His own emotions were all over the place. Initially he wasn’t in the best mood because he said “are we ready again?” And all I could say was “I don’t know”! 

Needless to say the next few weeks were very intense and confusing for both of us. I don’t believe in abortions but it was also so early that the fetus is barely formed. I went to the doctor to know my options and again abortion was brought up but also time had gone by going from when I found out to “you’re six weeks in” after a lot of prayer and faith – WE DEFINITELY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. We are having the baby because God makes no mistakes. 

(Fast forward) all is well, baby girl is growing, emotions are up and down. My first trimester was a hot mess just like with Jaden. Sick like a dog, a lot of crying – not being able to brush my teeth without gagging and just praying I make to the second trimester where I can finally be happy and eat my life away. FINALLY … I get there. 

Trimester two. Bring out the credit card. Baby shopping, ordering this and that. “Oh this is cute and this and this” such a difference shopping for boys and girls. I love all the shorts and polos for my son but seeing the mini swimwear and dresses after paying attention to them got me looking forward to finally meeting this baby girl. I never paid attention to anything girl ever but now my eyes are literally moving at a 50-50 pace because I’m thinking “what can I get for her and what can I get for Jaden” it’s actually fun but it’s also breaking our wallets more 😅 

Now, since I know there’s an new baby on the way, the biggest task is getting Jaden to understand what is going on. As my bump gets bigger I also try to tell him “baby baby” “kiss baby” “baby sister” some days he’ll kiss the belly and some days he’ll smack the belly. I don’t know if he gets it but he’s been more clingy than ever and he’s noticed little baby toys around the house all of sudden. He knows he’s too big for the toys because he’s advanced. They are still appealing for him but when he tries to throw the “crawling ball” and I say no no! He’s confused in why is mommy telling me to roll this ball and not throw it. Children are very smart. I just know his vibes feel that something is coming. 

As a mom to be of two my goal is to split myself in half! I don’t even know how I’ll deal with it and of course I’ll blog about this experience when baby girl arrives. I just want to be amazing to both of them but Jaden is my best friend, my go to, my play buddy – how am I suppose to do this with two kids. I’ve asked mother’s of two and they said they felt the same way but once the second arrives everything just fell into perfect place and everyone is happy so I pray it’s the same for me. I’ll be so devastated if my little guy feels a certain way about his baby sister or if he feels neglected. I already know when she’s born – he’s taking a full week off school to see her every second and I can spend time with them both. Luckily newborns don’t do much but feed & sleep but even then I need Jaden to see that she’s here to stay. I’ve seen him with other babies and he’s done great so I don’t doubt he’ll love his sister and they’ll be best buddies forever especially as she gets older. Jokingly I’m prepared for his slaps because when he sees her on my breasts which once belonged just to him, he might put up a fight 😂  besides the general talks of what’s on the way, I’ve also tried to get him to understand with pictures and stories. I ordered him a personalized big brother book which hopefully will help also. His name and face are in it and it describes all the responsibility a big brother has! I love online. You can find everything. He’s had personalized books in the past and he learned very fast from them. 

The final countdown has begun. Less than a month to go and my big boy toddler love of my life Jaden will no longer be a single child. He’s had a great time. He’s always going to be my best buddy and I believe this is such a great experience not just for him but for papa bear and I. Our family is expanding. We’ve been married for one year & I see the future being bright.

I thank God for everything & I pray I get continued strength to keep being a better mom to my children. It really takes a village to raise a child and I’m thankful for the advice and help I’ve got along the way but I’m very proud of myself because I went from knowing nothing to mothering two & seeing how well my son is growing and learning before my eyes, I’ve been doing something right. 

Cheers to the next chapter 🥂