Threenager…

Hi readers,

I am finally back…. life has been happening so I didn’t have time to blog because my mind wasn’t there but suddenly today I had the urge to get back to writing so here I am.

The last time I spoke about my new born baby girl who is about to be one years old in one more month 🤯 & a big brother who has been oh so caring, loving & protective… but there’s more… AGE THREE.

That’s right my big boy is finally three years old and the experience is like no other. He’s wild. When I say wild, I mean it. Three is interesting, the kids are on self discovery like never before but now they talk more & talk back. They know what they are doing and saying & know exactly what buttons to press. Three has been interesting like I just say say.

Jaden is one of the loves of my life but sometimes I feel bad because he drives me to crazy village with his threenager antics. When he’s getting disciplined sometimes it works and sometimes he pulls out the crocodile tears to make me feel bad which these days don’t work lol! I really have to stand my ground if not this little boy could finish me off like the last one on one on a battle field.

The love is unconditional but the wahala aka the trouble he gives can be a bit too much. I am hands on deck as a mother but now I’m dealing with two sides. A growing baby and a toddler and it is a whole lot. I know I got it though but keep the wine coming along with it 🤣

I am extremely blessed nevertheless to have a three year old because it means I’ve been a mother for three years and that’s amazing to me. I’ve grown so much as a woman and taking care of two just shows me a different  side of life not to mention I am soft and hard at the same time because I have a boy and girl.

My son may be wild but he’s still amazing and intelligent. Remembering big words, colors. Enjoying making friends and school & knowing exactly what he wants  and he’s still an amazing big brother. He really loves his little sister and she loves him back and it amazes me when he says things like “mommy this is for Jada.” He’s so involved with her and even if he has moment where he doesn’t want to share his one toy with her, he’ll find something she does like and he’ll give it her! That’s the BIG BROTHER move.

The observation continues.

Sticky Like Honey.

This is my last blog before the new baby arrives and I couldn’t help but share how my son Jaden has been more clingy to me than ever.

Like glue. Like gum on your shoe. Like honey on stick. Sticky is his latest middle name. I completely understand. Two years of being an only child! All the attention to yourself, & now that’s all changing. He follows me around usually but now it’s at his highest peak. Just how young children hold your leg while you walk, similar to that. He wants to be carried every second everywhere and I can hardly go down the stairs without him asking me for a “Hug” which means carry me mommy.  All the while anyone else like papa bear or his nana who asked him to do something it’s “NO”! it’s all about mommy.

It’s definitely bitter sweet for both of us but I know everything will be alright after all his new best friend is on the way. His constant new buddy, someone who can eventually chase him around and he chases back. Read with, watch cartoons with, go on walks with etc etc endless activities. I myself already know all the places I want to take them both after my much needed after birth rest.

Children are so amazing because even though he’s seen my belly grow from nothing to a big, big ball, his whole energy can feel the arrival. I thought it’s because of the baby bottles and toys here and there but it’s just the energy. I’m very big on energy as an adult I can only imagine how children feel energy themselves.

My hospital bag is packed and I’m definitely ready for this pregnancy to end by the grace of God, safe and healthy. I can’t wait to have a new bundle in my arms and I especially can’t wait to see my children’s amazing bond grow before my eyes.

All will be well. I claim it and I thank God for my growing family 🙂

Preparing for two while there’s one……🌸It’s a girl🌸

Two years into being a mommy to my best buddy in the world my son Jaden. Papa Bear & I are expecting once again. 

🌸IT’S A GIRL🌸 !!! 

Wow! I can’t even believe this is happening. So many emotions. Is this real? Can I handle two kids? I’m still learning with Jaden & now we’re throwing in another whole child… just wow. 

The journey has been tough but magical at the same time. The beginning was very rough. Finding out I was pregnant again happened with my big sister Geraldine via FaceTime. I told her “my period hasn’t shown up yet & I have a test upstairs but it’s old” … “Go and get it and go buy another one so we can double check” She said. “OK” (20/30 min later) CONFIRMED! I am indeed pregnant. My sister was so excited and I kept on saying “oh my gosh, what do I do. Should I tell papa bear now or later.” Eventually I told him with giggles which he didn’t find funny at all but me laughing was the only way I could cope and tell him. His own emotions were all over the place. Initially he wasn’t in the best mood because he said “are we ready again?” And all I could say was “I don’t know”! 

Needless to say the next few weeks were very intense and confusing for both of us. I don’t believe in abortions but it was also so early that the fetus is barely formed. I went to the doctor to know my options and again abortion was brought up but also time had gone by going from when I found out to “you’re six weeks in” after a lot of prayer and faith – WE DEFINITELY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. We are having the baby because God makes no mistakes. 

(Fast forward) all is well, baby girl is growing, emotions are up and down. My first trimester was a hot mess just like with Jaden. Sick like a dog, a lot of crying – not being able to brush my teeth without gagging and just praying I make to the second trimester where I can finally be happy and eat my life away. FINALLY … I get there. 

Trimester two. Bring out the credit card. Baby shopping, ordering this and that. “Oh this is cute and this and this” such a difference shopping for boys and girls. I love all the shorts and polos for my son but seeing the mini swimwear and dresses after paying attention to them got me looking forward to finally meeting this baby girl. I never paid attention to anything girl ever but now my eyes are literally moving at a 50-50 pace because I’m thinking “what can I get for her and what can I get for Jaden” it’s actually fun but it’s also breaking our wallets more 😅 

Now, since I know there’s an new baby on the way, the biggest task is getting Jaden to understand what is going on. As my bump gets bigger I also try to tell him “baby baby” “kiss baby” “baby sister” some days he’ll kiss the belly and some days he’ll smack the belly. I don’t know if he gets it but he’s been more clingy than ever and he’s noticed little baby toys around the house all of sudden. He knows he’s too big for the toys because he’s advanced. They are still appealing for him but when he tries to throw the “crawling ball” and I say no no! He’s confused in why is mommy telling me to roll this ball and not throw it. Children are very smart. I just know his vibes feel that something is coming. 

As a mom to be of two my goal is to split myself in half! I don’t even know how I’ll deal with it and of course I’ll blog about this experience when baby girl arrives. I just want to be amazing to both of them but Jaden is my best friend, my go to, my play buddy – how am I suppose to do this with two kids. I’ve asked mother’s of two and they said they felt the same way but once the second arrives everything just fell into perfect place and everyone is happy so I pray it’s the same for me. I’ll be so devastated if my little guy feels a certain way about his baby sister or if he feels neglected. I already know when she’s born – he’s taking a full week off school to see her every second and I can spend time with them both. Luckily newborns don’t do much but feed & sleep but even then I need Jaden to see that she’s here to stay. I’ve seen him with other babies and he’s done great so I don’t doubt he’ll love his sister and they’ll be best buddies forever especially as she gets older. Jokingly I’m prepared for his slaps because when he sees her on my breasts which once belonged just to him, he might put up a fight 😂  besides the general talks of what’s on the way, I’ve also tried to get him to understand with pictures and stories. I ordered him a personalized big brother book which hopefully will help also. His name and face are in it and it describes all the responsibility a big brother has! I love online. You can find everything. He’s had personalized books in the past and he learned very fast from them. 

The final countdown has begun. Less than a month to go and my big boy toddler love of my life Jaden will no longer be a single child. He’s had a great time. He’s always going to be my best buddy and I believe this is such a great experience not just for him but for papa bear and I. Our family is expanding. We’ve been married for one year & I see the future being bright.

I thank God for everything & I pray I get continued strength to keep being a better mom to my children. It really takes a village to raise a child and I’m thankful for the advice and help I’ve got along the way but I’m very proud of myself because I went from knowing nothing to mothering two & seeing how well my son is growing and learning before my eyes, I’ve been doing something right. 

Cheers to the next chapter 🥂 

Toddler VS Toothbrush

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Brushing teeth! Brushing little toddler teeth, who would have thought it’d be such a pain.

My son loves the brushing teeth song on tv, he even copies the movements with his little finger so why oh why can’t you do it for real? *Sigh* I’ve tried my best to make it a fun activity even to show him how I do it but he simply refuses. Brushing teeth has become a battle for me and the only way I manage it is if I force him by me holding his mouth open and quickly brushing up and down with squealing and crying 😢 “Nothing to cry about Jaden! You have to do it” while he looks at me with his sad puppy eyes.

The days he finally wants hold on to the toothbrush and asks for toothpaste, what does he do… swallows it up, sucks the brush around and puts the toothbrush right back down.

At this point, I’m about done with this game but of course I can’t  give up my little guy because I know eventually he’ll get it. In the mean time I have asked for advice from three people and here was their  solutions:

1.  It’s time to go back to the AFRICAN ROOTS! Cotton wool with toothpaste. Suggestion from papa bear. He said “That’s how it used to get done for us, and it worked”

2. Buy a mini battery operated toothbrush which he can hold and it’ll seem fun – this suggestion came from my son’s grandpa.

3. Sing a song. A suggestion from my cousin Angela whose toothbrush song for her boys is “The Ants go marching one by one” – she also expressed how it’s still a challenge for her but her lovely boys are getting it and I’m sure the song is a bonus because now they associate the tune with TOOTHBRUSHING.

I will try each of these methods and hopefully I can get my little toddler to finally cooperate. We really need this to work because his little breath is starting to stank especially after little naps and in the morning, sheesh! Lol he’s lucky I love him if not I’d never stand for it 😂😂😂

Luckily for me, no cavities in sight just yet. “COME ON JADEN, you can do it”

Have you got any methods of your own in your households moms and Dads? Please share.

It’s a hard KNOCK life

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My little guys development has been excellent. I’m so proud of his learning skills. He recognizing so many things. He loves to talk and say words we have learned together which is amazing BUT sometimes I’m worried they’ll all go away (God forbid) – why do I say this?! HEAD BANGING 😩😔

I have no idea where this nonsense started from but it’s now the absolute worst! I haven’t spoken to his doctor about it yet because I’ve been analyzing the behavior on my own.

I’ve noticed he does it when he doesn’t get his way. When he’s voicing out his frustration without words. When I leave the room or rather when I shut the door and he can’t come in. Achhh it’s awful “bang bang bang” against the wall! I try my best not to lose my temper but it’s almost impossible. Why would I want my baby boy knocking his head… a simple “Stop Jaden, that’s enough” is never enough. I literally have to bring out his behavior stick and he realizes that’s a No no! Discipline is very important in our home, heck I grew up with it from my mother and I turned our decent lol so I’m not going to bend for my son either (ps. We are Africans and that’s what we do so get the judgemental thoughts out of your mind right now)

anyways… I did some research online and just like my observation it’s a tantrum thing. Some of the deeper reasons were linked to development disorders but I definitely don’t believe it’s  that because My son is a happy kid thus far (learning, interacting, talking, not shy) etc  regardless this behavior HAS to stop and I’ll do whatever it takes.

I will bring it up with his doctor  the next time we are in the office but I just pray it’s an annoying faze that will go away soon.

Have any of you parents experienced this nightmare? Please share & your methods.

What to read… 📚

My son is only 1 year and 3 months and he’s already taken interest in books! I’m so happy about this. Reading is so important because it expands the mind and the earlier the better.

When my son is ready for reading time, he’ll go to his book area choose his desired choice and bring it to me. He’ll make a small noise “ehhh” which means in his toddler language “read to me” and I do without hesitation. I love the fact that he’s attentive and he enjoyed turning the pages on his own. He’s even started recognizing shapes or animals or things I might say and he’ll follow with an action for example “where are babies hands?” And he’ll start clapping 🙂

Here are a list of books I recommend that my son loves.

– “Where is babies belly button” (flap book) *His favorite*
– Sing and Squeak bath book (sound book)
– Good morning, Good night (a touch and feel bedtime book) *His second favorite*
– My favorite nursery rhymes box set (4 books)
– Baby’s first book of prayers *My favorite*

His flap book is his favorite because he loves lifting the pages and I’ve recently ordered a few more by the author Karen Katz. Definitely look into. My son’s first prayer book is great because it’s a compilation of lovely prayers which rhyme. He actually enjoys when I read them to him and he’s getting blessed at the same time so I’m all for it. The pages consist of pictures too so I also point and teach him different things which he remembers more and more.

Knowledge is power and the earlier we get these children on the right path the better. I’m all for the tv cartoons as I’ve mentioned before in one of my previous blogs but don’t miss the signs parents. If your child brings you the book, read it and if they want you to read it again, do it, period. My son likes to hear and see the pages turn several times before he’s done and I don’t rush him. I’m excited to order new books for him every so often and you should as well mom and dad.

Cheers to happy reading 📚

 

Handful & Handsome

I haven’t even reached “Troublesome two’s” and my son is sooooo much work sometimes I can’t even believe how papa bear and I are doing it.

These children really have a mind of their own, of course they do though… it’s development right before our eyes every single day which I do love HOWEVER, my son actually knows how to test us.

When I tell my son “NO” he smiles and after the third “NO” he’ll stop whatever it is he’s doing. When his father says “NO” he does what his father is having a hard time with, he screams at the top of his lungs in his high-pitched toddler voice. I can’t believe it when I hear it! That scream will drive anyone off the wall, my motherly ears have become used to it but it is annoying especially when we are out in public. Our son and this scream go hand in hand even his Aunty Geraldine (my elder sister) has experienced it and she’s in for more improved scream than the last one she heard lol

I can’t believe this small boy knows exactly what he is doing. As a parents we know children love to throw things down especially from their high chair. They keep on doing this because they are so fascinated with the drop and the noise and the parent reaction. They just don’t stop but what can I do, it’s worse when it’s feeding time. My son likes to eat by himself now which is great, he uses his hands and shoves as much food in his mouth as he can but the mess!!!! Golly-gosh it’s a whole lot of work. Of course a toddler can’t eat clean just yet but sometimes he takes his toy throwing technique and uses it with his food. He’ll throw it down and eat and laugh and play and then he’ll throw the whole bowl down when he’s done and will scream or make some loud gesture in order for me to take him out of his high chair.

Another frustrating thing my son does is jump on the couch 😡 Sometimes I wish I could remove our whole couch all together, I blame his father for this. When he was learning how to stand papa bear would put him on the couch for a few second then put him down but now that he’s fully mobile omgoodness – it’s like a nightmare accident waiting to happen. Our son will climb the couch, stand up and bounce on it… I’m always so frantic with this. He seems to know what he’s doing and he seems to know  The wooden floor is but he just won’t stop jumping, even when I say get down! It’s enough!… He just keeps on going and once again smiles and laughs.

Nobody can tell me these kids don’t know what they are doing. They know very dang well with their cheeky smiles.

the list can go on and I’m sure other parents can relate to some of Jaden’s traits and other ones.

With all these different things he does, my son is adorable  and cute and handsome and it makes it so hard to discipline him at times because he’s mastered his puppy eyes and crocodile tears which still get to me. He knows how to pull out the water works in seconds and I feel bad but discipline is more than necessary because all though he’s still developing as a parent you have to let your children know who is the boss. As papa bear says, our son is a “noise maker.” He always wants to be heard one way or the other but I’m sure this is normal.

Having a child, I’ve mastered patients more than I ever have but It’s constant progress, I tell this to papa bear too but men and women (Mom’s and dad’s) are totally different. Women can put up with way more in my own opinion, at least at this young age. What matters is that not only  One parent is bad, but both have “bad and good cop” moments.

All I know is that I’m bracing myself for chapter two aka troublesome two’s and in the words of Game of Thrones, “winter is coming”