Sad Mommy :(

My last blog was about being a working contract mommy and this blog is about being a sad mommy 😦

I haven’t seen my kids for about two and half maybe three weeks soon and it’s really taking a toll on me. I miss them so much. I miss their presence and kisses and hugs and my son and daughter just following me around everywhere just because…. this is the sad part about the hustle and sacrifice. You do these things for the better but then you don’t want to do these things because of what you’re essentially leaving behind. It’s such a catch 22!

I believe all sacrifice is never in vain and there are definitely rewards for it but it’s so damn hard! In my perfect world, I’m doing nothing but taking care of my babies but I have a lot of other stuff going on so I have to keep pushing.

😦 don’t really feel like writing anymore….

The contract mommy

As of last year, I decided to take the jump and go back to work. It’s not your regular 9-5 … it’s quite intensive, the hours are long but the great news is that it’s contracted.

I love contract work because it gives me the ability to be very flexible as a mother. I can have time for my own business, I can have time for my husband, I can have time for my children, and do everything that I want to do if I’m not currently doing that work.

It was a big step for me, but very necessary… Because there’s so many things that go on in the family, and there are so many things to take care of, and so many goals to reach and it’s cool to rely on one income but it’s not too bad to rely on two incomes especially when you’re bringing in some correct money.

Last year when I was away on work, I luckily had my amazing sister to help me with Papa bear watching the children it worked out. We all survived. This time, same situation but the distance is longer… Remember I said in an earlier blog I took my children to west Africa? Well as of right now they are there, and I am in the in the states! Can you imagine 😭 That is a lot of water between us, literally oceans between us. I think I can survive this because I know they are with my mother, they are in great hands & I will see them very soon.

It’s quite a tough thing to leave your children behind but sometimes in this life, you have to make sacrifices. This time I didn’t have my sister around and for Papa bear to watch our children alone although I know he could do it for two weeks nonstop, it would STOP absolutely everything he had to do for himself and our family. Would that be fair of me to ask him to sit still? Hmm 🤔 we have the same goals to reach and parenting is a two work man job but sometimes you really have to make sacrifices to better the whole family. I know the kids will be alright.

I spoke to my son not too long ago today, and yes he did cry “mommy, I miss you. Come back home” it totally broke my heart but I had to put on my big girl pants and realize I’m starting work again tomorrow and I’m going to be busy and focused and I’ll be back in your cute/sweet lovely arms in no time.

Motherhood is such a big deal. As a mom, you have to make all these decisions and all these decisions have consequences. I know there are some women and men that will judge me for going to work with two children, especially small children but then I think to myself “you’re not paying any of my bills” and all of those opinions are irrelevant. I know the lifestyle I’m trying to live, I know exactly what I want to give my children. You can’t always just expect everything to be handed to you especially from Papa bear. As a woman there’s nothing wrong with getting your hands a little dirty and the benefits will be glorious in the long run. I know exactly why I’m doing this and I know the rewards that can come from this and I know I’ll see my children very soon.

The house is so quiet right now though. I told papa bear “Is this what it’s like when your kids go to college?.” Just the two of us. Quiet. No mess anywhere. No noise. Just us. This is happening right now, so imagine when I children are really young adults of their own and everything we ever wanted is set and our goals are met. Pretty amazing.

I know there will be some days at work when I get to the hotel,  I’ll feel sad and I might cry because I do miss my children but every day that I wake up, it’s just another day that the contract is further down the line and another day that I’ve gotten paid.

I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to do this contract work & because of that opportunity I don’t take it lightly and I stay completely focused.

Being a working mom is very tough but somehow, there’s always a way to make it  work. I want to make sure I don’t get sidetracked because at the end of the day my children are my priority, and I definitely don’t want to miss moments of them growing up in anyway but that’s where balance come in. It’s not every contract that I will take but it’s not every contract I will miss either. God will see my family through.